My Baby is a big 6 months old today!
From the moment we met I have felt such peace for the first time in my adult life. With Baby by my side, I feel safe. Capable even. I finally have a reason to live. Because this precious kitty loves me, adores me, and needs me.
My cat has given me purpose.
Before my partner and I got Baby, I didn’t know know what was wrong with me. All I knew was that waking up in the morning was becoming increasingly difficult, and that I frequently contemplated ending my own life. My depression was at a drastic low and my anxiety was increasing at a rapid rate. I had no appetite, energy or desire to continue with my life. I couldn't even leave my house.
At the very peak of my darkness I read that one of the best ways to recover from a depressive episode is to truly feel connection again. You need to feel safe and loved. Unconditionally. For the 20-year-old me, this kind of connection could not have come from another human being as my mental health restricted me and I didn’t trust people. But I trusted animals. So, I thought, maybe a cat, my own cat, could help.
Which is how my partner and I found ourselves driving to pick up our then 5 week old, tiny, shy, little girl.
I loved you instantly and became your family the moment I saw you. As soon as I held your precious little body in my arms I knew that I wasn't going to be alone anymore.
I will never forget the very first day I realised that Baby really saw me. Like actually saw me. I’d had her for about three weeks and was beginning to feel a bit better, but I began to worry that my recovery was only temporary. When I started to feel the darkness surrounding me again and fell on my bed in tears, Baby noticed. She walked over to the bed, jumped up and leaned against me. looking up as if to tell me she was with me. This was the first of many times that she noticed my sadness and simply laid with me.
Since becoming your mum on September 25th 2019, I can say with complete confidence that I am genuinely happy. You have made me so happy and continue making me happier every single day.
I will never be able to truly express the extent of my love for you. You are my hero. My bestfriend.